I Call B.S.

Today was swimming along perfectly. I made homemade waffles for breakfast, I played with Roo and JB. Everything was making it out to be a perfect Sunday.

Then I checked my email.

And was slapped with a full inbox of bickering and fighting and friendship ending.



So I clicked on the email that started it all with a warning from my best friend, B. It said: Be Warned.

I should've just deleted it all.

Since the Girls Night Out, I've received two emails from T and I choose not to respond to them b/c I wasn't sure how I wanted to handle it all. Yesterday, after annoying the hell out of my husband, I decided I would answer her with a cool, calm reserve. I was going to chuck all that crap she talked under the rug and act like it never happened.

Then I read the email from B and it all disappeared. T, had decided to launch an attack against myself, B and K. Full on out calling us liars and bullshitters. It was a long, rambling letter full of grammatical errors that drove me batty.

Apparently this tirade started yesterday and while B was working, she and T, had it out, all while cc'ing myself and K.

It was made very clear in these emails that T, hates us, thinks we're full of shit and that I am a bad person for the decisions I've made in my life. She even had the nerve to drag my husband and I's relationship into this.

This is where I hit the brakes... this is where I get mad... not just mad, steaming mad. So mad I'm about to get in my truck and drive to her house and cause physical harm mad.

Everyone knows my feelings about my relationship. That's simply it: It's MY relationship. I've told everyone not to bother trying to figure out my relationship with my husband b/c you will NEVER understand! You are not me, you are not him, so butt out. I never try to get into someone else's relationship b/c I believe it is sacred. It is theirs and theirs own. K and B understand this.

T never has understood anything.

So I respond to her email, simply b/c you attack my family, I attack you. Any mother knows this code, we all follow it.

The bitch closed her email account.

She lashes out at me, about being a horrid friend, a bullshitter, a backstabber, a basically all around piece of crap, and she runs and hides before I can respond. I was running for the truck again when my husband stopped me and convinced me getting thrown in jail wouldn't be a wise idea since he only has $10 in his pocket.

I agreed.

It just kills me that she's all pissed off b/c she can't grasp how the friendship K, B and I have works. Egh, it's not even worth it anymore.

So, I'm going to mourn this friendship as for the same amount of time that she took to distroy it.

And go...

Done.

Seriously, I'm done.

Guilty Mommy

Today while I was piling shavings (for the horse stalls) into the back of the golf cart, Roo was running around the area doing what she normally does.

Playing with the chain on the gate: Check.

Smooshing shavings between fingers: Check.

Running away from Mommy: Check.

It always takes me ten times longer to fill the cart when she's with me. It takes me so long because everytime I turn around, she runs away.

But that's not the point of this story. The point of today's story is that while I was working, Roo climbed into the golf cart and began to play with all the no-no stuff that's stored in the cubby-holes. With every scoop of shavings, I was calling out to her to be careful (Yeah, I know she's only 15 months and DOES NOT understand what I'm saying, but it makes me feel better). After a few shouts, I noticed she had stood up and was eyeing the ground.

Being me, I dropped the shovel mid-scoop and went her way... but apparently I am not fast enough, she tumbled off the golf cart before I could get to her... and slammed her head into the metal gate.

BAM!

Oh, she hit the ground and CRIED CRIED CRIED.

I felt sooo bad! I knew what was going to happen, but I was too damned slow to get to her in time. :( Now my baby has a deep purple bruise on her cheek (right by her eye!!). She was so upset and so was I.

I always get this was when she falls (and she FALLS). I know it's the way of a child, they're exploring unknowingly and accidents happen... I know this, but it doesn't stop my guilt at not being there for her.

She stopped crying after 15 minutes and let me hold her and cuddle with her.

Another 15 minutes later, she was pushing a broom around the barns without a care in the world.

Atleast she recovers nicely.

The Barter System

My husband is a pro at the old barter system. He is so good at it, he can take a soft shell turtle and turn it into a running vehicle (Yes, he's done this). Since I'm not working a paying job, he offered to give me a running 302 V8 engine to barter and trade to get what I've got my eye on.

What I have my eye on is a Canon EF 24-105L F/4 lens for my 5D... if you google it, it is not cheap and I need it! I do, I swear I do. :)

So I have this engine and I have no idea where to start. He's busy with so many things I hate to ask him to stop what he's doing to make a deal for me. I guess I'll craigslist it and see what hits I get.

Wish me luck.

Obessed with a Tushy

Is it a bad thing to love my daughter's tushy?

A Straw?

I was a bad Mommy today. I forgot to bring your sippy cup with us when we went out this morning (I swear, I am always forgetting something). So when I stopped for lunch at Chik-fil-a I bought you a juice box to go with your nuggets (Like a good Mommy, I got fruit instead of french fries... props to me!).

I honestly didn't think you'd would drink it... but you proved me wrong! You took to drinking from a straw like a champ!! Of course, it made me sad b/c it's another sign that you are growing up too fast! Pretty soon you won't need me. :(

:)

Pissed Off At A So Called "Friend"

Okay, so I have two best girlfriends who I've been best friends with for over ten years. We've gone through everything together, ups and downs, lots of fights, lots of love, etc... Over a year ago, we decided to include a friend of a friend b/c she wanted some closer girlfriends.

At the time, I was thrilled. I did my best to include this friend. But try as I might she was uncomfortable with the dynamic that myself and two other friends had created. She felt left out, wanted us to always be there to make it all better and whatnot. When we had huge get togethers, parties, whatever, she wanted us to stick by her side and do everything for her. Make the conversation and whatnot.

Now, I know I sound bad. But in my defense, I tried really hard. But our huge group of friends doesn't roll that way. We don't send out professional invites to our parties (we go with word of mouth), we don't cater to certain needs or wants. We believe that if you want something, do it. If you want to be included, come over. If you need something, take it! This sort of realtionship we all share works for us, it's taken us ten years to perfect it and it works!

The three of us are so understanding of each other and we know our ins and outs, we know the other's SO, we just know everything... and I admit, that's hard to break into...but I tried to help her fit in... it was just so time consuming, it took so much energy...

And on top of everything... when I was with this "friend" she immediately would start bitching about the other girls and vice versa. It was such an emotional drain to be around her.

The breaking point was our girls night out last Friday... I finally managed to build up the strength to go out for a night without my baby girl. So myself and one of the best friends, K, rode together and the "friend," T, rode with the other best friend, B.

Myself and K had dinner and caught up on everything, we were having sooooo much fun. And then the others show up and immediately we feel a tension building. Which sucks b/c I don't like having tension with my best friends... and it was only b/c of her. Inside I felt I had to let her monopolize B b/c I know she's not the best fan of K. So K and I sat together and talked letting them do their thing.

We went to see a movie and during the movie, T sat between me and B, which sucks b/c I like sitting next to B so she and I can gossip.

Is this confusing yet?

Anyways, after our movie we all stood around and chit chatted, but yet again there was this tension. Parting ways, I knew knew T would talk about me... and today I got the emailing confirming it.

The email also confirmed that I wasn't the only one feeling the tension and the three of us decided that we weren't going to includeT in any of our plans anymore... It's too much and while we decided if she were at a group event (very unlikely), that we wouldn't ignore her... but she shouldn't be involved in any of our girls nights... She pushes us apart when we don't want that...

So I'm just irritated that we tried so hard... and the end result sucks.

But we tried, god, did we try...

Girls Night Out

Last night we had a girls night out... complete with Mommy Guilt!!

I met up with one of my girlfriends last night and we went to dinner at a great pizza place in Lake Mary. As always, we chit chatted about everything under the sun (and then some). It was fabulous. She and I can talk, talk, talk and talk! And we did. Afterwards, we met up with two other friends and headed to the movies to see SEX AND THE CITY!!

I am a die-hard fan of SATC. I am guilty of having watch the ENTIRE series numerous times and I still watch the edited versions on TV sometimes. I've watched it so much, my husband even knows the story lines.

Two out of the three friends had never seen an episode, so I was quite excited to see the movie with them and share it with them.

And let me tell you... it did not disappoint!

The movie was F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S.

I laughed, I cried, I laughed some more... and cried some more.

It had everything I wanted in a movie. Nothing pleases me more than a movie that takes me on an emotional roller coaster, complete with gasps of shock and sadness. I love becoming involved with characters and experiencing their world.

Happily, my two friends enjoyed it a lot and were pleased with the movie.

Score!

Of course, the whole time I was gone I missed my daughter like crazy. I hadn't been without her for that long in... well, never!! The minute the movie let out I was heading home, skipping all the b.s.ing we normally do when we all get together. I needed to see my girl and make sure she wasn't hexing me for leaving her.

After getting home and running through the house, ignoring the dogs and anyone else in my way, I found her watching cartoons with Daddy and when she saw me... she gave me the biggest smile... I admit it, I'm a sap, I cried I was so happy to see her.

I'm a sucker for her, can't help it. :)

So my first official girls night out went well... I'm glad I did it... Of course, who knows when I'll be able to pull myself away to do it again. Maybe in 10 years?

:)

The No Name Post

I think I'm just going to ramble... b/c I don't really have anything important to say today.

I guess this whole global warming thing isn't a myth b/c it's damn hot in Florida already. Normally it doesn't get this hot this quick. When I say hot, I mean so damn hot that it takes the time from when you leave the door to your truck that your makeup has already rolled off your face. This makes for driving a truck without a/c horrible.

Of course putting your feet in your daughter's kiddie pool while she splashes around can quickly cool you down. :)

I bought Roo new splash toys today while at Walgreens... and of course the hubby insisted we buy this super soaker gun thing for him to irritate the dogs with. As well as more diapers, razors, toothbrushes, soap, playing cards, candy and more. I swear, Walgreens is my new Wally World.

What else...

Nothing... sorry this post is so lame.

First Kiss

The first time I kissed my husband it wasn't planned.

The kiss took place in a hospital room that my husband, then best friend, occupied after experiencing heart trouble the night before. The night before while out with friends, Mr. Me had a heartrate of our 200 beats per minute. I remember getting that phone call from a friend that he was on his way to the hospital. I was so anxious and nervous and... scared.

The next day while visiting him, he was sitting there in his hospital gown trying so hard not to be embarassed about his attire that I put my arms around him... and kissed him. It wasn't planned. I honestly didn't think about him in that kind of light... but I saw him and just knew, knew I had to kiss him... So I did.

I still get butterflies just thinking about it... about him. And it's been over 10 years.

*sigh*