A Letter Unpublished

Letter Unpublished

Dear Mom,

Today’s conversation with you was a turning point for me. Before this tête-à-tête, I held you high on a pedestal. You were my Mom, someone that I looked up to, someone I desperately wanted to impress.

Today’s conversation changed everything.

It was brought to light that you were unhappy with me, with my situation in life and my chosen path. You clearly stated you thought I was involved with illicit doings, a horrible mother and married to a regretful man. Those words, words I never thought to hear from my own mother, stung deep and still sting to this very second. I’ve always envisioned a perfect relationship with you, fooling myself into thinking there were no underlining… Boy, was I wrong. I always did my best to ignore the snippy comments about my husband. Today, I can ignore them no longer.

My relationship with my husband is my own, so I would never ask you to understand it. All you really need to know is I love him, he loves me. We are happy.

As far as me being a bad mother, how dare you. More deceitful words have never been spoken. I am a fabulous mother to my daughter. I love her more than words can describe, and while you believe I am not, shame on you… shame on you.

Regarding your “disappointment in me” I want to tell you that you should stop. Stop being disappointed in me. I want to tell you that you should be proud of what I’ve accomplished. Be proud of the fact that I graduated college. Be proud that I had a great job for many years, that I married for love and seven years later brought a beautiful baby girl into the world. I want to tell you that while you may be disappointed in me, I am not disappointed in myself. I have achieved many great things on my own and I am happy, so happy. I will continue to be successful. I will not let your negative words drag me down. I will continue to thrive and because of your pessimistic attitude, you will not know.

Our relationship is irrevocably damaged.

Things will never be the same and I am sorry. You will miss out some spectacular moments in my life.